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Off the Usual Path

No more Oreos?

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update!!  May 16, 2003
The lawyer has changed his mind!  People have spoken!  No law suit.
Kids are free to eat Oreo's.
 
Say it isn't so!
 
 
May 14, 2003

Another 'good' citizen comes to the rescue.  After years of eating Oreo's, and enjoying them tremendously, somebody put on a pound or two.  Their nice, hour-glass figure, turned into a mason jar.  Who's to blame?  You know somebody is to blame.  It couldn't be the fault of the user.  Did she exercise?  Did she walk?  Did she do her housework?  No, she sat in front of her T.V. and ate Oreos.
 
When she realized she had gotten a little pudgy around the middle, she didn't like it. She complained to a lawyer friend.  The lawyer friend went researching, to find the cause, and what did he discover? It is the fault of Oreos!  There is fat in the white filling!  I wonder which college he went to?  He is amazing. 
Now, another American icon is about to be erased. 
 
Dads will not be able to show their sons how to twist off the top, carefully, before they begin to eat it.  Little brothers will no longer be able to dip their oreo into their big brothers glass of milk, and enjoy brotherly comaraderie.  What will mothers put in the lunch boxes?
 
In the years to come, someone will remember Oreos lovingly, and the children will say, "What's an Oreo"? 
Or, "Tell us about the old days, daddy, when you use to eat Oreos".
 
People are going to start hoarding them, just wait and see.  The neighbor across the street just put a padlock on his freezer  in his garage.  I just know he has Oreos in there.
 
On Halloween, Oreo came out with orange filling.  They also have double chocolate, with chocolate filling.  Oh, they probably have a lot of new ideas in their secret files.  Now, what will they do?
 
People will lose their jobs.  Nabisco will go bankrupt.  It is a real shame.  But does the good pudgy citizen care?  No.  She is worried about the rest of us getting fat.  She is looking out for us that are too ignorant to know there is fat in the filling.
 
Oreos are the cookie of distinction.  You don't just buy chocolate cookies, you must buy Oreos.  When you bring the kids in for milk and cookies, it is milk and Oreos. Can any other cookie put that ring of chocolate around a child's mouth? I say no, only Oreos can do that.
If this can be done to the King of cookies, what's next?  Ice Cream? Reese's minis?  The Golden Arches?
It's time for people to revolt.  Stand up for your right to eat Oreos! 

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